Tuesday, July 9, 2013

22

Julie turns 22 today, we got so old so quickly, I don't even remember her 21st birthday. Haha.
Luis has left for the north, and I'll be home alone today. I was supposed to meet with Johnny, Julie's friend to buy her a bicycle, but last minute, my mother changed her mind and decided to give her the money later so she can choose her own bike. Whatever, it's not like I traded shifts to get this task done or anything...

But whatever. Seriously.

Last night I was writing a letter to Talia, she seems to be doing a little better and that brings joy to my heart, but at the same time, I wonder if this will affect her psychologically. Anyway, I think that while we were really wanting her to stay, recuperate, and do things that a lot of us get to do in the growing up process, we all knew that for that moment of agony and pain, it was best to say goodbye and try to meet up with her in heaven.
Still, I'm happy. Don't get the wrong idea, there's still a lot of confusion, mixed feelings, and thoughts about life...
No one ever enjoys seeing their loved ones go, let alone to bully diseases or illnesses like cancer. She's still in my prayers, she's still in my mind, and I'm still trying to live my life with a more positive outlook. This isn't just for Talia anymore, but also for myself, because health is the only thing that ever impedes anyone from living a plentiful (except for Talia, she's a ninja) life...and if I have my health, so I have no excuses. Just keep swimming.
Oh yeah, the letter, I filled up many pages, so I think I'm gonna try to finish the journal and then I will send it to her.

That's all on me right now. I'm gonna try to take a nap, I have to shop for Luis's birthday present...I wanna make this the best birthday ever for him. I flake on him every year. I'm such a dirty, cheap, nothing to him. Sometimes I really wonder if there's anything I give him that some other girl wouldn't give him...
Aaah, I don't wanna torture myself with that right now.

Byeee.