I had to force myself to sleep the past two days, and I wasn't very successful at it.
I've been logging on to Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to see if I find anything news about Talia. So far, nothing has changed. I wish...things were different.
Like maybe if it were me in her place. Because an innocent soul like hers doesn't deserve to be disrespected the way life has trampled her. Or maybe if the doctors suddenly walked in with a magical serum that cured her in its entirety. Or if her parents went against her wishes and tried an unconventional method, such as Christina Pirello's whole foods way... or attempting something unorthodox that would work.
But I'm thinking about the suffering for the thousands of people trending her hashtag right now, people including myself that have a spark as bright as the twinkle in her eye that this isn't happening and that we will all wake up from a horrible dream.
And it's selfish because in trying to protect our feelings, we aren't taking into consideration everything that this journey marks. Over five years of going in and out of hospitals, submitting your body to incredibly harsh chemicals and radiants that not only cause damage and horrible side-effects, but are also really bad for the body.
But... I argue with myself, over and over. And stubborn me always has buts...
But I don't understand. All I know is that after not eating for so long, and lingering between the thin lines of life and death, she hasn't left, then why give up? She's stubborn in her own way, she's still fighting, despite the entire world of logic against her, she's still here. Why won't they make a last effort to try the irrational... there's a man that has healing sessions with his hands, and there's ways of introducing horrible diseases that can be controlled but will kill the cancer cells. There's alternatives, they have the means of getting these people to her, and if they said they didn't, all they'd have to do is look at the internet posts under #prayfortalia to realize that they have crews full of support.
I'm gonna continue to pray...