The month of May ends on Friday. I'm excited and sad at the same time because it went by so fast, but in this fast-paced month, I was able to learn a lot about myself (yes it sounds cheesy, and cheesier it will sound...very soon, but hear me out), and the world around me.
There was a Tumblr post that I wish I'd saved, because I feel it was pivotal to everything going on in my life then and now, and later.
It was a suicide post, and it was a typed letter that said something to the effect of the following summary:
If you want to kill yourself, wait a moment. Take a deep breath, and wait a year. In that year, keep a journal, and do as much living as you can. Try new things, read good books, open your mind to be music, and go places.
Chances are that if you look back on all of that a year later, you'll be happy you didn't, and you'll want to see what else there is to see. If you still feel like committing suicide at the end of the year, then make a list of things you want to experience, and give it another year.
To that, I really wanted to add, to mark the date in which you felt so low, and celebrate it every year, because you didn't just go through with it, you made it through add a rebirth.
May was full of confusion for me, not many new things happened but life had me stomped down. There are people in my life I will always hold near and dear for their help, and I welcome June as my first full month of absolute positivity.
Since it's also the half year mark, I'm gonna do things normally others try to begin at the beginning of the year. That way, I still fulfill my resolution and build a good habit for next year.
Also, I woke up about an hour ago...that means I slept a whopping 14 hours last night...
I'm a little ashamed, but not really, because I was really behind on sleep.
*Edit: I thought I'd posted this at around three in the afternoon...turns out it never published. Hahaha.